The Unforgiving Servant

Sermon for Trinity 22 - Matthew 18:21-35

November 16th, 2025

“Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

Forgiveness is a hard thing. We are not good at it. Someone sins against us and we automatically build walls of defense against that person. Forgiving someone involves strong emotions. Anger and pride. Shame and disappointment. Our sense of right and wrong becomes clouded by our emotions. We become fixated on the sin committed against us. We are consumed with a desire for justice and retribution. Our secret motto is vengeance not forgiveness.

We won’t be satisfied until the person who sinned against us gets what they deserve. We want them to suffer. And then full reparations made. The damage done - fixed. The thing stolen - replaced. The words spoken - taken back. Maybe then we can forgive. Or at least speak the words, “I forgive you” even as we conceal the anger that’s raging in our hearts.

We do not love as we’ve been loved. We do not forgive as we’ve been forgiven. Our own experience bears witness to our sin and failure. Forgiveness is hard. I have no doubt all of us here this morning have that one person or persons who’ve committed some sin against you and destroyed a relationship that was at one time good or at least peaceful.

One day peace and harmony, the next estranged and alienated. Sin did it’s evil deed. Ties severed. Friendships broken. Maybe some of you have homes and families divided and torn apart because of sin and the refusal to forgive and reconcile. And one sin without forgiveness and reconciliation always snowballs into another sin and then another and on and on. The division, the heartache, the pain grow insurmountably. Lives damaged and changed forever. What was, never to return. All because of sin and a refusal to forgive and reconcile.

You hold onto the hurt and the pain. Time heals the wounds a bit, but only on the surface. You still hold it inside. Maybe you forget about the person and the sin for a time, but the pain and anger always finds a way back. The thought of the sin resurfaces. You can’t let it go. The anger and the hurt begin to build and swell once again. Forgiveness, forgetting and restoration seem to be impossibilities.

Or maybe you are the one who desired to receive forgiveness for a sin you committed. You had guilt and shame over what you did or said to someone. You destroyed a relationship. You caused pain and heartache. And you want to fix it. So you go to that person pour out your soul in confession. You tell them how sorry you are for everything you did and said. You plead for forgiveness.

You know in your heart that you are taking the step needed to restore things to the way they were before. And then you get one of two responses. One, they actually say, “I forgive you.” But then in the next breath they say: “But I want nothing more to do with you.” That’s not forgiveness.

Or the other response, they just outright reject you. They slam the door in your face. They refuse to take your phone call. They tear up your letter. Delete your text. Trash your email. They want nothing to do with you and your apology. Forgiveness – forget it.

All you can do is walk away. You want forgiveness. You want reconciliation and for things to return to what they were before. Now your desire to repent and fix and restore what you broke turns into anger and rage at the person for rejecting your confession and attempt to reconcile.

Everyone loses when there is sin and then forgiveness is rejected or refused. We’ve all been on both sides of that fence. We’ve been the victim; we’ve been the perpetrator. We are great sinners and horrible forgivers. Satan loves it when God’s children sin against each other and then refuse to love as we’ve been loved and forgive as we’ve been forgiven.

We have failed miserably to emulate the love and forgiveness of our dear Savior. And we know we have very little or no control over our emotions and feelings. No matter how hard we try. We don’t have the ability within ourselves to change our minds and our hearts towards those who have sinned against us as God demands. So how do we reconcile these things that are in conflict. The perfection God demands and the sin that dwells within our hearts that makes forgiving others so difficult? It’s a never ending battle.

Shortly after this parable Jesus talks about the impossibility of a rich man entering heaven. Jesus said, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.” And yet Jesus says, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Such is the case with our ability to forgive others. What we can’t do in this broken flesh God provides through faith as we walk in the Spirit clinging to the unlimited forgiveness we have been freely given in Jesus.

Peter understood the difficulty with forgiveness. It’s why he came to Jesus with the question. “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” It seems that Peter believes there is a limit to how many times we should have to forgive someone who continually sins against us. Jesus said to Peter, “I do not say to you seven times, but 77 times.” 77 times isn’t the limit.

Jesus is making it clear that forgiveness is unlimited. There is no limit in how many times we are to forgive those who sin against us. True forgiveness towards others flows from the unlimited forgiveness we have been given by God in Jesus.

After Peter’s question Jesus goes on to tell the parable of the unforgiving servant. The main point of this parable is found in the insurmountable debt the servant owed his master. This servant owed his master ten thousand talents. Ten thousand talents in today’s money would be the equivalent to billions of dollars. You would have no hope of ever paying that debt.

That’s the point Jesus is making. The debt we owe God is insurmountable. We cannot pay the debt we owe God for our sin. And our sin against God is billions of times greater than any sin anyone could ever commit against us. Our sin should condemn us to hell. And yet God forgives us.

Not just the little things we’ve done. But the horrible things we’ve done. Every sinful blasphemous, slanderous word spoken, every perverted and disgusting thought and desire that’s tormented our minds. The things we have left undone and failed to do. Every sin we still have yet to commit. The totality of our broken and corrupt to the core flesh. All of it Jesus has taken into Himself and nailed it to His cross. The debt we owed wiped out in the holy, precious blood of Jesus. Cast into the sea. Never to return.

God’s wrath is satisfied in Jesus. God the Father now looks at us and sees the love Jesus has for us and He loves us and He forgives us unconditionally because of Jesus. We live in a state of forgiveness at all times as we are covered in the holy precious blood and perfect righteousness of Jesus.

All of it God’s Work in Jesus to save us. And He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the Day of Jesus Christ. You can love as you’ve been loved. You can forgive as you’ve been forgiven. Because your love, your forgiveness doesn’t flow from anything you have in yourself. It all flows from faith in Jesus and His work on the cross for you and for all those who’ve sinned against you.

That perfection of Jesus on the cross is yours. You were knit to that perfection in baptism. You hold onto it with faith. You are filled with the Holy Spirit and empowered to live differently in thought, word, and deed. Which means the ability to love and forgive others.

The fact that you struggle forgiving others as you ought. And the fact that you are hurt when others withhold forgiveness from you, is actually faith at work in you fighting against your sinful flesh that doesn’t want to forgive. This is a good thing. Embrace the struggle. Fight the good fight of faith. Let the old man die through contrition and repentance and the new man arise to walk in love, and faith, and forgiveness.

There is an effective way to fight the battle to forgive others. When you are struggling to forgive someone or if someone is refusing to forgive you, one of the most effective things you can do is to pray for that person. Not once, not twice, but continually, every day. For years if necessary. Pray for their salvation.

Pray that they would see their sin, that they would repent and turn and desire peace, reconciliation and restoration. Pray knowing Jesus hung on the cross and shed His blood for them just like He did for you.

And pray that God would soften your heart so you can truly love and forgive them. This is what God desires. Repentance, reconciliation, forgiveness and salvation rooted in Jesus Christ crucified and risen for you. This is the power of salvation and the power to forgive as you’ve been forgiven.

The Church is the Church of reconciliation. God through Christ reconciled us to Himself forgiving our sins. Forgiveness is what the Church is all about. Forgiveness through the holy blood of Jesus poured out through His death on the cross for you. For all those people who sinned against you. Even your enemies. Forgive them. You don’t have to hold onto their sin. Jesus has already dealt with it on His cross. Give that person to God. Let it go.

It won’t ever be easy. It will be a battle to the end. Some people, some sins you may battle with in prayer and God’s Word until the day you die. But keep fighting. Don’t despair, don’t let anger, resentment, pride and arrogance win. Don’t continue to talk about the person with anger. That’s your flesh. You are filled with the Spirit. Commit yourself to abiding in God’s Word and prayer. Fight the battle of sin and forgiveness knowing Jesus has already won the victory.

The great, insurmountable debt you owed has been nailed to the Cross in Jesus. It’s paid in full. It isn’t coming back. Believe it. And then forgive your brothers and your sisters in Christ their little debt to you.